Domestic Violence: How NOT to respond

Being told of domestic violence can come as a real shock - especially if the perpetrator of the violence (male or female) is someone you know and like. Because of that, it's easy to let unhelpful things come out of our mouths. Here are our top 5 things that should never be said:

• I don't believe it! People very rarely make allegations like that up. It's probably taken them months, if not years, to pluck up the courage to tell someone - and they might well be thinking that they deserve the beatings and don't deserve help - so make sure you don't destoy what little hope they have by implying you think they're lying.
• It'll soon blow over! Domestic violence is not a storm in a teacup. It is external evidence of deep internal problems. Each individual outburst may dissipate quite quickly but the problems will linger and intensify if they are not dealt with.
• What did you do to deserve that? No-one is perfect but no-one, absolutely no-one, deserves to be physically assaulted by a spouse or other family member. Be careful not to suggest that they deserve to be hit.
• All marriages have their problems. Indeed they do! But not all marriages contain violence. Empathising by sharing your struggles may well be appropriate but minimising the pain of others is never helpful.
• Well, you can't leave them! Marriage is a special and precious covenant - one that should not be broken lightly. As Christians, it's important to emphasise that, in the grace of God, it is definitely possible to work through the issues that are fuelling violence and for a marriage to survive but there often needs to be a time of separation while counselling is sought and that period probably will not be short. Sometimes (if the abuser does not change) complete separation will be necessary. Utilising services like refuges can be an invaluable step that can ultimately bring about the change that every party needs.

Delighting in The Trinity ebook - just £2.49

It's a difficult concept isn't it? If we're honest, most of us struggle to get our heads around this wonderful aspect of God's nature, but in his book, Delighting in the Trinity, Tim Chester helps us see that the Trinity is brilliant news and a doctrine that has huge implications for our day-to-day living as Christians. It is a complex subject, for sure, but Chester walks us through it with a warmth, clarity and wisdom that makes this a great read.

Read more HERE and get the ebook for just £2.49 until midday on Thursday. Please use the code ditte0314 at the checkout.

Domestic Violence: On being a punchbag

There was a time when I barely even thought of myself as human. Oh don't get me wrong, I wasn't under some illusion that I came from an alien species, it's more that I didn't think I deserved to be treated like I would treat other people. I thought I was different, lower, less significant than those around me.

When I first met my husband, I was in a bit of a mess. My depression was bad and I had trouble making decisions. He was like a breath of fresh air. He was always so full of faith, so willing to take the lead, galvanise me into action and guide me on how to act and dress. I loved it. I loved him! Within weeks I went from a timid woman who rarely left the house other than to go to work to a well-groomed, socially-active person who could be confident in her boyfriend's words.... continue reading

Domestic Violence: Hidden Reality

No-one really wants to admit it's there - especially in churches. We're God's precious family and we're supposed to act like it. That shouldn't include beating up your husband ... or wife ... or elderly parent. But, in families across the globe, it does.

Domestic violence is not just out there, it's common. According to The Crown Prosecution Service website nearly 1 million women in the UK experience at least one incident of domestic violence each year and, each week, 2 women are killed by their partner or ex-partner. And churches are not immune from the phenomenon.... continue reading

Fighting the Monday feeling

Great and marvelous are your deeds,
Lord God Almighty.
Just and true are your ways,
King of the nations.
Who will not fear you, Lord,
and bring glory to your name?
For you alone are holy.
All nations will come
and worship before you,
for your righteous acts have been revealed.

Revelation 15:3-4

New church - new challenges

Moving on from a church is usually, to some degree or another, painful. And identifying a new church is often difficult too—trying to somehow balance all the factors while avoiding the opposite temptations of being, on the one hand, a consumer, and on the other, a martyr with a Messiah complex, doggedly set on a solo mission to bring revival to an ageing congregation of seven.

Having finally settled on a church, what about the next matter of settling in? After all that thinking, praying and heart-searching, you’d be forgiven for feeling exhausted at the prospect of round after round of small-talk.

I’ve fairly recently moved from Burnley to Surrey and have been both encouraged and challenged by the experience of becoming part of a new church.... continue reading

Living The Cross Centered Life - £5 until midday Monday

Continuing our recent blog deal theme, in the build up to Easter, of looking at the cross, here is another great little book from C J Mahaney.

The cross is the very centre of the Christian faith, but that simple truth can sometimes be easy to forget. So how do we remember to focus every day on this reality with all that surrounds us?

Mahaney in his book, Living the Cross Centered Life implores us not to move on from the foot of the cross and examines the deepest truths of the events of Calvary.

Read more about the book and buy it HERE for just £5 using the code ccl0314 at the checkout.

Christianity in the News

Registration opens for first same-sex marriages

Kim Jong-un calls for execution of 33 Christians

North Korea expels Australian missionary over Christian pamphlets

Don’t expel God from our children’s classrooms

Christians line up to break US box office for Jesus

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