Why We’re Feeling Lonely (and What We Can Do About It) ebook

God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone,’ and I think we’d agree. We were created for meaningful connection with others but too often can’t escape the haunting feeling of being alone. With wise and winsome candor, Why We’re Feeling Lonely helps diagnose what contributes to our loneliness and points us to meaningful ways to develop deep, life-giving relationships as God intends for us to have. I commend it!

Campus ministers, youth-group leaders, or anyone discipling a young person struggling with loneliness—this is the resource you’re looking for. With empathy and clarity, Shelby identifies the root causes of Gen Z’s isolation and then combats them with biblical truth, practical tips, and thought-provoking questions. Easy to read, timely, and gospel-centered, this book is perfect for one-on-one or small-group discussions with the ‘Loneliest Generation’.

“If you’ve ever felt unknown in a crowded room or close to God but far from people, you’re not alone. This book speaks to that ache and offers a biblical path toward the kind of connection your soul was made for.”

“Shelby doesn’t write from a distance. He writes from the middle of the mess—naming the real, raw struggles that so many young people face, without sugarcoating or condescending. This book goes after the actual roots of loneliness with both truth and tenderness, pairing a deep grasp of the gospel with practical, soul-level help. Shelby has a rare gift for speaking with his readers, not at them, and that authenticity makes all the difference. Every chapter feels like a conversation with someone who has been there, who isn’t afraid to say the hard thing, and who wholeheartedly believes that Jesus has the power to meet us in our loneliest places and bring lasting change.”

“Shelby’s book on loneliness is a rare combination of power and purity. Power, as there were moments that I found myself shouting at the insightful diagnoses of our current cultural climate. Pure, because, like medicine, truth seeped into my own heart, especially as it relates to empathy toward others. If you’re struggling with loneliness as a student or young adult, or quite frankly at any other stage of life, you will be brought to your knees in prayer. A timely, timely book for this generation!”

“Shelby Abbott’s excellent book helps readers grapple with the questions we should all ask regarding the loneliness epidemic that continues to surge—especially among the younger generations. He invites readers to explore the poisonous substitutes that work as counterfeit sources of belonging. I loved reading this book and thinking more deeply about what Abbott calls “gospel friendships,” and how to bond more deeply with others in overlooked and deeply biblical ways. Don’t miss this book!”

“Every single person feels lonely at times, and sometimes we just don’t know how to navigate it. I love this book because it’s relevant, real, practical, and biblical. It’s going to help every person that reads it!”

“Through easy-to-read, illustration-filled chapters, Shelby helps us see that real, unfiltered, other-person-centred commitment to the messy yet beautiful gift of the local church, centred around Jesus, is God’s wonderful answer to the epidemic of loneliness. It helped me realise again the joy and privilege of being friends with a God who woos and pursues me, and the possibility of unexpected friendships within the church. As a local church pastor on a council estate full of lonely and isolated people, it’s a joy for me to see a wonderful and realistic picture of how our little body of believers, even in its messiness, can bring hope to those who are hopelessly lonely, socially isolated, and totally detached.”

“This book convicted, encouraged, and deeply healed me in my struggle with loneliness. Even while surrounded by an amazing community, I often felt unseen—but Shelby Abbott gently exposed how self-centeredness can sometimes hide beneath that kind of loneliness. His words drew me to meditate on Scripture, sit in God’s presence, and pursue deeper, selfless connection with others. God’s design for meaningful relationships—with him and with people—is beautifully unpacked here. I’m walking away with renewed purpose and perspective, and I’m incredibly grateful for how this book has changed my life.”