Honest, compassionate guidance for navigating the heartache of divorce, rooted in God’s word and based on personal experience.
Divorce brings a storm of emotions—grief, anger, confusion and shame. Yet while the ache lingers, life goes on.
Vaneetha Risner has walked through this pain. In this hopeful and honest book, she draws from Scripture and her own story to offer compassionate wisdom on...
She also shares about navigating single parenting, church, dating and the work of rebuilding.
Whether you are in the early stages of divorce or beginning to restore your life, this book points to Christ’s faithful presence every step of the way. Helpful “check-ins” throughout invite you to pause, reflect and take hold of God again and again.
Includes appendices to guide friends and church leaders in supporting you.
Foreword by Paul David Tripp
Questions for Personal Reflection or Discussion
Appendix: How to Show Up When a Friend's Marriage Ends
Appendix: Some Helpful Forms for Communicating with Friends and Church
Appendix: Helpful Resources on What the Bible Teaches
| Contributors | Vaneetha Rendall Risner, Paul David Tripp |
|---|---|
| ISBN | 9781802544152 |
| Format | eBook |
| First published | April 2026 |
| Language | English |
| Publisher | The Good Book Company |
Vaneetha takes on a sensitive, deeply personal, potentially embarrassing reality with clarity and honesty yet without rancor or malice. As someone who has been through a divorce in similar circumstances to hers, I can attest to the painful yet healing accuracy of her wisdom in these pages. And I can attest to the unfailing hope she points the reader to in Christ, without flippancy or pat answers. Prior to this book, I knew of no books on divorce I would actually be willing to hand to a person navigating that devastating reality. Now I have one, and I am grateful for it!
No one begins a marriage saying, ‘I sure hope I’ll get to walk through a divorce,’ and yet so many of us end up facing the realities of shattered dreams and broken promises. Once again, my friend Vaneetha Risner has parlayed her suffering into deep understanding, scriptural fidelity, and gracious blessing. I strongly recommend this resource, for those who are facing divorce and also for those who are seeking to help.
Our God hates divorce. So do his people. We grieve the sin and profound hurt that lead to and come from divorces. As Jesus says, it was not this way from the beginning. Yet mourn them as we do, they happen, and so tragically often in our day, and many of Christ’s people are left aching and searching for Christian counsel in their devastation. Vaneetha has not only walked with faith through this devastation but has been courageous enough to answer the call to help other Christians who are hurting. This book is no celebration of divorce but an offer of real, solid Christian hope in the midst of one of life’s greatest anguishes. I pray this book will help you move forward in Jesus and draw closer to him in your pain.”
I have not walked through divorce myself but I have witnessed close friends endure that trial and honestly I had no idea how to navigate that season alongside them. I wish I had this book back then.
Vaneetha peels back the layers of her story with beautiful vulnerability that is comforting to those who have experienced divorce and informative for friends and family who want to understand and care well for a loved one facing divorce.
She shares snippets from her journals in the fresh days of her divorce which was so helpful and I think helps her practical tips land well. She’s not just offering wisdom that’s good and true theologically, but that’s lived.
She even admits to mistakes she made with handling her divorce and offers advice on how someone could better handle feelings and frustrations that come with divorce like anger and unforgiveness.
While this book is filled with her personal testimony, she did a great job at including scripture that’s helpful (stories like Joseph and the Prodigal Son as great biblical examples of forgiveness) This book’s main goal is to point the reader to Jesus.
I really enjoyed this book and the footnotes (not a usual thing I would comment on in a review, but they were great!)
Overall I recommend this book and am so grateful for Vaneetha continually providing helpful insights to equip the church in biblically handling different forms of trials and suffering.
What this book does not include is in depth commentary (she briefly mentions adultery and abandonment early on but it’s not extensive) on biblical reasons to divorce and grounds for remarriage. Vaneetha actually advises the reader to get before the Bible and seek out their church leadership on those matters. I think this approach was wise based on the flow of the book.
I received a complimentary copy as a reviewer, all opinions shared are my own.
In This Was Never the Plan, Vaneetha Risner writes about her learning experience through an unwanted divorce. I was encouraged by her reflections of the way God invited her into a deeper relationship with Him and strengthened her even though she could not see the outcome.
Vaneetha reminds us that “The gospel is for all of us, offering grace in our failures and hope for redemption, wherever we find ourselves.” Whatever we are going through we can bring it to God, he knows our limits, he strengthens us, and he offers us mercy. Alternately, if we hold on to bitterness we create a barrier in our relationship with God.
You will find discussion questions that can facilitate reflection for yourself or conversation for a small group.
An additional resource is her chapter outlining what it looks like for an individual or the church to walk alongside someone going through a season of divorce. What a blessing to offer our time and abilities to serve someone through their suffering.
