Learn from Jesus how to disagree with courage and kindness, avoiding divisive arguments.
In this positive and practical book, Gavin Ortlund looks to the Scriptures to discover a way in which to disagree with others that leads to greater understanding, peace and love—and that shows a watching world something of Jesus.
This is a much-needed message in a society that is losing the ability to disagree well. Whether over politics, religion, culture, or the more everyday issues of normal life, points of view tend to be held with a polarising intensity. Too often we view disagreements as must-win contests or we simply do our best to avoid them altogether.
Looking to Jesus’ example of courage and kindness, readers will be given a framework for engaging in intense disagreements with a love that furthers relationships instead of hindering them.
So, whether you tend to fight or flee, learn how to keep calm and stay friends—even when you disagree.
Introduction: Why Disagreement Is Difficult
| Contributors | Gavin Ortlund |
|---|---|
| ISBN | 9781802542639 |
| Format | eBook |
| First published | February 2025 |
| Language | English |
| Publisher | The Good Book Company |
A tiny book with a tremendous punch! I’m thrilled Gavin Ortlund has written this first-class introduction on how to keep calm and stay friends in hard conversations. What a difference we’d see in church life and online life if we took such sane, biblical, and applied wisdom to heart and put it into action. I plan on getting lots of copies of this book and working through it with our church’s staff team.
Gavin is one of the best models of thoughtful, gracious, and healthy disagreement that I know. In this timely book, he shows us how we can learn from, listen to, persuade, and love one another, with a warmth and wisdom that we can all learn from.
With scandals rocking the Christian world and disagreements between Christians played out on social media for all to see, this book is very timely. With pastoral wisdom and practical application, Gavin Ortlund asserts that while disagreement in itself is not a problem, the way we conduct ourselves when we disagree can be hugely damaging. This book encourages us to be better listeners (one of the indelible marks of wisdom) and challenges us not to try and win the argument but rather to build trust with those with whom we may (continue to) disagree.
I’d be hard pressed to find a more timely book. With division running rampant across the globe, I highly recommend for everyone to read this book. Division is also found within the Church so Christians must be able to have healthy disagreements where relationships aren’t severed and the unity of the Church isn’t shattered.
Gavin writes with the wisdom of a seasoned pastor, the grace given to sinners, and the love of Christ. This a short, but impactful book. I found myself repeatedly encouraged and making an abundance of notations for how to apply this to my own life circumstances. This book is full of practical tips, lots of Scripture, and even has discussion questions at the end of each chapter if you’d want to read this book in a group setting. Hard conversations and disagreements are inevitable this side of Heaven, and Gavin encourages and equips the reader to deal with them in a way that glorifies God. This book is absolutely one of the best I’ve read in quite a while and will stay with me for a long time.
An easy read with some very useful recommendations. Just need to put it into practice now!
I have strained friendships because of heated disagreements, and I'm sure a lot of us can relate to this at a personal level. Disagreement is not the issue (it can be healthy!), but how we conduct it is.
This book goes through virtues and skills, such as being kind and courageous, having a heart ready to hear, and speaking in truth and love. There are definitely things I took away to work on, but more importantly, Ortlund encouraged me to look to Christ, who is our perfect example of love, and learn from Him to carry this love with us into our relationships with others.
"The Art of Disagreeing" is succinct and practical, and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to "stretch forward in love toward those with whom we disagree" (pg.80)!
Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
So many really practical, biblical and helpful ideas that are useful for both family squabbles and work/church based disagreements. I liked the fact it is a short book as this means I can re read quite happily again to help embed the principles! A good idea to use this also with the questions at the end of each chapter for group discussions. Never have the principles been more needed than in today’s cut and thrust of the individual seeing self as all important.
Having disagreements are always difficult, regardless of what they’re about, whether it be if you prefer daylight savings or standard time (which hits hard this week with the time change) or whether it be about politics. Regardless of what it’s about, though, “arguments”, or tough conversations, can be civil and constructive. I appreciate that this book really lays it out for you.
The author focused on different key points and attributes to use when disagreeing, including kindness and listening. He did a great job at explaining the topics, giving examples, and providing a quick but deep understanding of them.
I especially appreciated the size of this book. It was a quick one, less than 100 pages, which is perfect when wanting a quick grasp. It’s also easy to reference, or to use as a refresher if needed.
Really, it made some fantastic points. The author also provided some good reminders for me, and strategies to try improving my tough conversations with others. Overall, a good book to check out.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, received from @thegoodbookcompanyusa . However, all thoughts and views reflected are strictly my own opinions.
Much needed direction in helping to focus on the lasting results of making a conscious effort to maintain relationships with concrete steps to disagree with respect and love for others.
When I first started working for the church, I think I had a very shiny view of what it would be like! In my head, we would always be very friendly, never disagreeing and being able to decide things together quite easily. Now having worked in the church for a decade, it's not that simple! People can love one another and follow Jesus together, but still disagree. However, what matters is working out how we disagree well, being faithful in our work and building one another up in our conversations, even when we need to disagree. This short book from Gavin Ortlund is a good starting point to help us work out how we might be kind, courageous, persuasive, loving, and listen well, even when we need to have those hard conversations
In 5 short chapters, Gavin Ortlund gives believers a model for handling disagreements in a way that is reflected in Scripture and brings glory to Christ. Instead of overemphasizing tolerance or championing brashness, Ortlund encouraged us to embrace both kindness AND courage as he shows why each is necessary for positive conversations. Using biblical passages, examples seen in arts and culture, and references to philosophy, he walks readers through what it looks like to listen well, speak persuasively, and overall LOVE the other.
This concise and accessible book is written directly to Believers as it compels us to handle the various conflict-prone situations in our lives in a way that reflects Jesus. I read this independently, but I think it would be especially beneficial for growth in a small group setting. The included discussion questions after each chapter lend themselves well to group conversations.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and was grateful for it's compact length! Gavin is concise and practical in everything he shares with a well-rounded viewpoint that understands the complexities of disagreements. I'm already putting these skills into practice and am keeping the book handy on my shelf for when I need a refresher! Highly recommend.
In a world where people are quick to argue and slow to listen, this book is a much-needed reminder that how we handle disagreements matters. Gavin Ortlund points us to humility, wisdom, and biblical kindness—challenging us to disagree in a way that honors Christ.
