Surviving the summer as… an older single

Summer for an older single person can be a tough and lonely time at church, with lots of people away on family holidays, and lots of younger single people planning their getaways from the big smoke.

We can start worrying (probably from Easter onwards) whether we’ll find anyone to go away on holiday with (and wonder at the same time why people would actually consider going away with us!). If we’re not careful that can become a nasty downward spiral that is hard to get out of.

And suddenly, school’s out! Families talking about where they’re looking forward to going to on holiday, how will they survive the journey through the Calais blockade. Some families meeting up at different holiday destinations, and the excitement factor in their children rising by the day. Packing the car, packing the children’s cases—is there enough room for the paraphernalia of family existence? Trying to keep everyone happy on the journey there… Phew! What a blessing I don’t have any of that to contend with!

I’m a recently-turned 50 (it’s the new 30 right?) and—in God’s good providence—unmarried member of the family of God, and I really genuinely look forward to the summer. I find it a rewarding time because there are so many opportunities for me as a single person to enjoy the freedom that God has blessed me with, and in turn to be a blessing to others.

For the last 13 years my summer has begun with helping out on one of the many Christian youth camps that happen up and down the country. I actually now head up the kitchen team, feeding upwards of 150 people—it’s great to feel part of a team that serves together and does something spiritually meaningful. It also helps me to keep the main thing (the gospel) the main thing in my life. Ok, so that’s not exactly a holiday—but it’s a brilliant use of holiday time from work, and really satisfying.

I’ve made sure that I have maintained good strong relationships with my married friends who often have children to look out for whilst juggling busy and stressful work lives. Yesterday, I went to see Minions with three children of a family that are having a really tough time. The kids loved the film (what’s not to like about Minions? Everyone say “Bananaaaaaaaa”!). The parents got to get the rest they desperately needed, and most importantly, how else would I get to see the movie in 3D on the big screen, without feeling slightly uneasy about being an older guy sat in a kid’s movie screening? Which is a very sad reflection on where our culture is at.

I also have a proper holiday to look forward to with an organisation called Oak Hall who take Christians from all walks of life away on holiday. The trips not only give rest and good fun, but also fellowship around the word of God in the evenings. I’m single so can afford to treat myself to Vietnam this year—looks amazing!

Above all, my biggest request to the Lord is that I remain content in every circumstance, and that I wouldn’t waste the freedom that he truly blessed me with. I am single because God thinks (for the moment anyway) that it’s the BEST thing for me, and so I can remain content in his sovereignty, despite sometimes wrestling with the yearning to be married.

I have a wonderful singer-songwriter friend called Yvonne Lyon who has written an amazing song called Enjoy not Endure. That’s what summer should, and can, be like for the single person.

I haven’t had to “endure” (or “survive”!) the summer for a long time—because I’ve learned with God’s help to enjoy it.

Top tips for surviving the summer as a single: The 3 Ps
Pray!

• For contentment in all circumstance,
• For opportunities to serve
• For wisdom to use our freedom to God’s glory

Plan!

• Book a holiday in advance to look forward to, either with other single friends, or with an organisation like Oak Hall or Richmond Holidays.

Be Pro-active!

• Find a camp to serve in as part of a team—it’s great to have older (and hopefully) wiser Christians around. Alternatively, Oak Hall often have people volunteering to help out around the home of Oak Hall—it’s a beautiful location!
• Ask your married friends with children if they would like you to take their children to the cinema/fun park/museum for the day. It might also remind you the blessings you have being single!

Top tips for helping singles you know survive the summer

• Ask: Some older single people struggle with loneliness at this time of year—asking them about summer plans will give you an idea of how they’re doing.
• Invite: Don’t be afraid to invite singles to join in your summer fun—they probably won’t ask you for the opportunity, mainly because they don’t want intrude on family life.
• Enjoy! I have some wonderful married friends who have children, who every year go out of their way to book a large cottage and invite a lot of their single friends to join them. We always have a great time enjoying being part of a bigger family, and guess what? They benefit from having extra help with the children. That’s a win/win!

Now you've read the article, let us know what you think. Comment in the box below. You can also like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube Channel