I'm delighted to have worked with Sam Allberry on his new book Is God anti-gay? It's a subject close to my heart as I have many close Christian friends who have wrestled with this issue. In any sizeable church there are likely to be two or three present for whom this is an issue in some way.
Part of the issue was the need for secrecy. It is only relatively recently that "the love that dare not speak its name" has become normalised in society as a whole. And as Sam articulates so compassionately in his book, there are still many believers who feel unable to share the nature of their particular temptation for fear of being judged, rejected or misunderstood by others in their fellowship. I am praying that the message of this book, as it is read by whole congregations will start to remove the fear and ignorance which many of us have - and make our churches more intelligently caring in this area.
For believers to understand the nature of this temptation is important. It's also important for us to understand that, like all sinners, those who struggle with SSA may fail at some point, as indeed do those of us who are thoroughly heterosexual. There may be implications for church discipline, but the first step is always to follow Paul's command in Galatians 6 v 1-2:
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.
No place for superiority - because we know that we too are weak. No place either for rejection - because the law of Christ commands us to love one another - even when our brother or sister has crashed horribly. Our approach needs to be be firm, yes: "you do know that it is wrong don't you?". But also practical: "How can I help you get over this, and how can we help you not make the same mistake again?"
Let's not allow our brothers and sisters to suffer in silence - let's learn how to bear this burden with them.
Tim Thornborough founded The Good Book Company in 1991. Today his roles include Chairing The Good Book Company Trust and working with the Rights team to grow TGBC's international reach. He is the author of The Very Best Bible Stories series and has contributed to many books published by TGBC and others. Tim is married to Kathy, and they have three adult daughters.
