You know the moment. Every Christian does.
Someone asks you a question: Why do you go to church so much anyway? Do you believe in evolution? Can you really think hell is real? Why does God allow so much bad stuff to happen?
“Wow,” you think to yourself, heart thudding, both excited and terrified. “I’m never the one having these kinds of conversations. But this is the moment. Here’s my open goal to say something about Jesus.”
So you take a deep breath, and…
Out comes some garbled lines: “Well er, I think that… I heard someone say once… It’s just that um…”
Rather than scoring an easy goal, you’ve tripped over your own feet and landed face down in the mud. Before you know it, the ball’s down the other end of the pitch and the conversation has moved on.
Later you keep replaying the moment in your head in and thinking of all the things you wished you said. With two or three hours to think about, you can come up with a well-articulated, intellectually credible, pastorally sensitive and Christ-centred response. But with two or three seconds? No chance.
Evangelistic book looking at whether science and religion are opposed.
That’s what we could call the “I-wish-had-said-that” evangelism moment. So what do we do about them?
Pick up the conversation: Next time you see the person, come back to the subject. “I was thinking about what you said the other day…” at the very least shows that you’ve been thinking about them in their absence, and that you care about them and their questions. “And I’m sorry. I don’t think I was very clear. What I wish I said was…” You don’t have to be a Christian to know how it feels to be put on the spot and have your brain fall out of your head. You might find your friend is sympathetic and more ready to listen. Besides which, I’m increasingly convinced that when it comes to the art of conversation, everyone has different tastes. Not everyone defaults to the give-and-take of questions and answers. Although I might think it’s slightly odd to bring up a random subject and deliver an uninvited short monologue, not everyone does. (I know that because they feel no qualms delivering a monologue to me!) People talk about the things they care about. So don’t be afraid to take the metaphorical mic sometimes.
Let someone else do the talking: Send your friend a link to an article or video, or hand them a book, which engages with their question: “I was thinking about what you said the other day, and I’m not really good at explaining this kind of stuff. But I found this really helpful. Have a watch/read and let me know what you think”. If someone is genuinely interested in the answer, they’ll take the time to engage with what you send them. If they aren’t actually that interested, then you can rest assured that even the most compelling on-the-spot answer wouldn’t have been a game changer for them. In which case, refer to point three…
Pray: Maybe your conversation was with someone you’ll never see again… but God does see them, and can work in their life. So pray for them: pray that something you said would get stuck in their head, like an itch they have to scratch. Pray that God would put another Christian or another coincidence in their path.
And pray that you would get another opportunity to share the gospel. The disciple Peter had the ultimate “I-wish-I-had-said-something-different” moment. He was asked whether he knew Jesus by a group of incredulous people round a fire, and denied it three times. But Jesus was gracious, sought Peter out after the resurrection, and gave him the opportunity to reaffirm his love three times. The book of Acts shows that Peter had plenty more opportunities to boldly and clearly share the gospel. God is gracious: ask him for another opportunity, and he will delight to give you one.
And next time you sense an “I-wish-I-had-said-that” moment coming:
Stall: “That’s a really good question” wins you one second. “Let me think for a moment” could win you as many as ten. Return questions could get you a couple of minutes, and show you something of their heart in asking: “How come you’ve been thinking about that recently?” This also gives you a means to find out if their question is mostly academic or deeply personal, which will certainly affect the way you respond. Just be sure to come back to the original question and not let the conversation veer off onto something else.
Stall big: “That’s a really good question, and I don’t want to palm you off with a half-baked answer. Can I go away and think about it and get back to you?” Then it’s back to steps 1, 2 and 3…
In his new book, Can Science Explain Everything?, Oxford Maths Professor and Christian believer John Lennox offers a fresh way of thinking about science and Christianity that dispels the common misconceptions about both. He reveals that not only are they not opposed, but they can and must mix to give us a fuller understanding of the universe and the meaning of our existence. Buy the book here.
Rachel Jones is the author of A Brief Theology of Periods (Yes, really), Is This It?, and several books in the award-winning Five Things to Pray series, and serves as Vice President (Editorial) at The Good Book Company. She helps teach kids and serves on the mission core team at her church, King's Church Chessington, in Surrey, UK.