Every Man's Battle

A great little book about the struggles that all men face in the area of sexual

 Every Man’s Battle, by Stephen Arteburn and Fred Stoeker is a great little book about the struggles that all men face in the area of sexual temptation.

I have just finished reading my copy and throughout I have been struck by the author’s open an honest writing as they have shared their own stories and battles, and also encouraged by their many practical insights and sincere desire to help men in this area.

That said I have two concerns with the book.

The first is the idea that if we want to be sexually pure, then the main thing we must do is ‘choose to be victorious’. This comes up mainly in sections two and three - ‘How We Got Here’ and ‘Choosing Victory’.

Throughout these sections Arteburn and Stoeker say that if you have the desire and the will power, then you can and will be victorious in the battle with sexual sin (the chapters are filled with numerous encouraging and heart-warming examples of men who have chosen to give up sexual sin and have thus gone on to live sexually pure lives). However, as I read each story I simply couldn’t get Romans 7 out of my head. Here the apostle Paul explains that even though he earnestly desires to do good, because of his sinful nature he can’t, and instead keeps on doing the evil he does not want to do. As I understand it Paul’s saying that even with all the will in the world, sexual temptation will always be a battle and one which we will always struggle with this side of heaven. Now it’s extremely important that we understand this and get it right, because having wrong expectations of the struggle ahead and what victory looks like will ultimately disillusion and undermine us. So that is my first concern.


My second concern is less serious, and it’s that whilst the book contains lots of advice and many practical insights, it’s a shame that more of them weren’t tied in with scripture, especially when they easily could have been. For example in chapter 15 when giving us advice on how to behave around women who find us attractive, whilst all the advice is good and helpful a couple of verses from scripture such as 1Corinthians 6v18 (flee from sexual immorality) or 2Timothy 2v22 (flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness) would have really cemented the ideas and shown us that they were the practical application of God’s word, not just the thoughts and ideas of the authors. The advice is all good, it’s just that they could have shown us how it comes from God’s word.


All in all it’s a great book - and I’ve certainly been helped and encouraged by it. Well worth a read, but bear the Romans 7 stuff in mind.