New church - new challenges

Moving on from a church is usually, to some degree or another, painful. And identifying a new church is often difficult too—trying to somehow balance all the factors while avoiding the opposite temptations of being, on the one hand, a consumer, and on the other, a martyr with a Messiah complex, doggedly set on a solo mission to bring revival to an ageing congregation of seven.

Having finally settled on a church, what about the next matter of settling in? After all that thinking, praying and heart-searching, you’d be forgiven for feeling exhausted at the prospect of round after round of small-talk.

I’ve fairly recently moved from Burnley to Surrey and have been both encouraged and challenged by the experience of becoming part of a new church.

Be encouraged

Coming to a new church, I’ve been encouraged to meet all these Christians that I didn’t even know existed before. And yet they believe the same gospel as I do; they love Jesus like I do; they want people to be saved like I do. How amazing that even on first meeting, we really do have something in common by being “in Christ” together. It’s a unity that Paul enthuses about in Ephesians: “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone” (Ephesians 2:21-22).

And for years this church has been faithfully meeting Sunday after Sunday, faithfully studying God’s word, faithfully serving him in the community, while I’ve been getting on with my life in another part of the country, blissfully unaware. It’s easy to get consumed with our local church situation; but it’s encouraging to remember that Christ’s universal church is far, far bigger than we imagine and—better yet—that God is big enough to be intimately working in the life of each member, long before we came on the scene to see it.

Be challenged

I have been really blessed by the warm welcome that I have received from people at my new church, but it challenged me to think: When I was at my last church, was I this welcoming to newcomers? Probably not. But the Bible warns us: “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers” (Hebrews 13:2). I definitely needed reminding.

I find walking into a church where I don’t know anyone pretty daunting—even after having grown up with a father who thought no family holiday was complete without dragging us to churches weird and wonderful. Dodgy eschatology in Glasgow, hug-an-elder in Hong Kong, a healing service in Bath, and a time of open prayer for cats in Somerset have all become family folklore. Despite this, when I’m at a service for the first time I still feel slightly nervous with questions like: ‘where will I sit?’, ‘who will I talk to?’ and ‘how do they do communion here? What’s with these tiny plastic shot glasses / shiny silver goblets?’

If a new church has got me feeling that way, how much more so for someone who has never been to any sort of church before?

Whether you’re new to a church or have been a regular for 50 years, it’s a good idea to sometimes stop and reflect on what it feels like to be an outsider there. If we can empathise with how people walking through the doors for the first time are feeling, we can welcome and love them better. How might that look in practice for us as ordinary members of a congregation? Most obviously, it starts with taking the initiative to speak to new people. But it’s also great to build relationships based on something more meaningful than small talk. So why not make a special effort to speak to them next Sunday and follow up on the conversation from the week before? Or invite them for dinner? Or introduce them to your other friends and help them feel part of the group? In doing so, hopefully they won’t be feeling like an outsider for long.